2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
