i just wanna soil my oats bro
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
