Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
