Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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