I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
