Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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