on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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