I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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