i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
