i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
