in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
