I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
