shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Life is so much better after having sex.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't turn off my feet"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
