i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
