the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
