I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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