Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My first STD was from a foam party
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
