She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
