haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
