he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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