I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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