can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
