trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
