I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I enjoy the company of your penis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
