You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wish I could teleport
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
