Already got asked if we're dating
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
