Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
