I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
