sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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