the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
