i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
