just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
