forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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