I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
