Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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