me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
