What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
