absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
