how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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