I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
