Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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