Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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