and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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