he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
