so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
