it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
