I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
