just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
