Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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