To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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