I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
