And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
