Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
