But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
