i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
