Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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